Jesus musings from the down days

Do I know why I’m here? Not fully yet.

For we are God’s workmanship.

Created in Christ Jesus.

To do good works.

Which GOD prepared beforehand.

That we would walk in them.

Were dead

Used to live like that

Follow different

Still there –Not just you—everyone giving in-ick

Wrath. Condemned.

His great love for us

God—rich in mercy

Alive in Christ while dead!

Grace                                                                                    Raised!

Seated

Coming—incomparable riches of grace

Shown in kindness                                                                                                          Through Jesus

Grace saved—faith—gift—nothing we’ve done—nothing to brag about! Because (beginning)

Eph. 2

What’s the value if no one knows you or loves you or hears you?

God does, but is that just a cop-out? Or is it the depth of truth? How does it then overflow into how I listen to my Lord and other people?

Jealousy starts pull at you; envy unravels your beautiful exterior

Pride will bring you boasting to a cliff before gleefully pushing you to your defeat.

Bitterness’ taste lingers terrible on your tongue and kills like poison

Anger burns you to a crisp leaving little behind

Anxiety will eat away at you slowly then consume you

Fear will chase you and burry you alive

Courage will embolden you and strengthen you

Truth will fight for you victoriously

Comfort will soothe your aches and pains

Compassion will adorn you as the finest jewels

Love will heal and fill to overflowing what were the most vacant and empty spaces

Grace will shower you as the spring rain waters the earth

Perseverance will produce grit—hope that comes like strengthened muscles rather than torn hands. Like feet calloused by walking a challenging, joyous, rode to wisdom.

Confidence will be your goal and great reward like a crown that you immediately bestow on another or a wedding ring over which you can’t stop gushing.

. . .

Hebrews.

In the thick of things--still a peek at the in-between posts.

The past week (second week of October, I think) has been characterized by joy and exhaustion.

Receiving and giving love in different ways and gritting out the imperfection of life.

Miss Linnea —Cute: morning hugs and playing with my hair when I accompany Sarah for dorm devos. My grade 5 students aren’t the only ones who recognize me and want my attention, although I struggle with their attention games, lamenting the fact that I cannot be everyone’s private tutor—pushing them to challenge themselves and each other, too! All of the students at KIS bring me joy and make me want to love children forever. “I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always…” Yes, they are frustrating beyond words when they whine, tattle, “Miss!,” scream, disengage etc. Still, understanding just the slightest slice of the perspective (we’re talking about that tomorrow in Language Arts) of our “precious heavenly Father.” My students all pushed each other in maths this week and were crazily distracted working on grammar, sat enthralled for poetry and begged to get the chance to work on their summative assessments.

Ok, so I know what goes on in my class (to some extent!), but it turns out we had a little barber shop during Tamil (second language class)—not sure how that happened. “But I told him only to cut a little!” oops.  This is the humorous side, but there are also issues of bullying and home life/dorm life to consider and pray about and about which to communicate with students and superiors.

Basketball is a joy, a challenge, and a frustration in a different realm. We have our tournament in a little over a week. Yikes. Strikes. I like working with Beth and wish I could be more of a support in the rest of life. Everyone feels over-worked, including the high-schoolers with their own stress. My players are still afraid of me “because [I’m] tall.” That’s what the children at the orphanage said, and they, legitimately small, got over it in a couple of hours! We have lots to work on, what with missing girls to any number of sicknesses, injury, school event or life challenge. Pricked to pray and be diligent with them! Don’t worry, I don’t make them do crazy running unless I participate. Just another thing I never suspected I’d be doing!

My little friend Ezme wrote me a simple note she eagerly asked me to open the other day which reads, “Ezme loves Linnea.” Do I send these notes to others often enough? Do I tell this to my lover constantly in what I do and say? Do I read the greatest love letter of all as the sustaining nourishment it is?

Forced to stop on Monday—sicky sick. Ok, great. The smallest acts of kindness nearly brought me to exhausted tears that day, but Tuesday was more than enough of “it gets worse before it gets better.”  I’m determined to keep going and have felt immensely improved this week!

Tastes of fall: the air, sarah’s apple pie, leaves changing colors, football, planning the school fall celebrations, hikes through the woods, masala tea . . .

Little adventures and unexpeteds: speaking Spanish, making fry-ems into “pasta”?, coaching soccer a little, going to Tibs—again. Playing mofia, meeting business execs, feeling lonely, reading my Not So Common book and poetry with students . . .

And life goes on.

Looking back into a few of the lessons learned

Moving on. Reflection from a few weeks ago.

With my up and down personality and musings, it is only fitting that I thought of a song from my own middle school years yesterday walking down the mountain:

… Pressing on. I won’t look back and take this anymore because I’m done with that. I have one foot out the door. To go back to where I was would just be wrong—I’m pressin’ on.

The context was in being sick, but it applies, nonetheless to any situation of life and was the topic spoken about in religious assembly, just today—perseverance.  “I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back.”

On our ethereal and magical hike this past weekend with the middle schoolers, we passed through a natural butterfly garden whilst parading down a stone wall which runs along a stream and a hedge along a forest. Flittering past. Bright blue! Purple, red, black, white, yellow, green.

Thinking about transition as the butterfly reminds me of God’s love and vitality, I have to consider where I’m at in this awkward position of student-teacher. I can’t say that I think we ever transition out of this phase. We always have much to teach and much to learn—who doesn’t learn from a young child or learn even as she ages with graying hair? Even so, I am aching in the growing pains just as scripture describes of all of creation. As I see and feel and know and believe I need to grow up and move on in maturity, again, as Paul absconds the church. Seeking in order to lay down. Striving to let go. Working to rest. The paradoxes of the divine wisdom of the truth and logic of faith. Oh joy of joys and mysteries revealed. “Run like a vagabond.”

I apologize for not writing sooner.
Today I feel like I'm coming alive again, just as the earth continues to spin so the sun comes up anew each morning with His new mercies. I was quite excited to awaken with the sunshine today! Of course, it rained in the afternoon--the dragonflies have gone and monsoon round two has begun. "When the drops start dropping...."
Still, I was quite out and off for a couple of weeks, and I will post from those dark days soon. ; )
I'm hoping to get on top of things more or less and not let my departure catch me off guard next month!

A couple of headlines for the week:
No school due to local elections Monday. Days and nights of blaring music and speeches coming from the backs of trucks are over and firecrackers are in order. Still, it will all only increase as Divali arrives soon!
Doctor visits icrease in frecuency.
My friends, the lovely nurses in the dispensary tell me it is always a busy place, and I added to the numbers in finally submitting myself, per tattling by my friend, Sarah. Over-diagnosed and given diet and anti-biotics. How much will I listen? Not sure. Thanks to my pharmacist friend for your consultation--so proud of you!
Teaching lessons lessens
It's a bit awkard to hand over the classroom as I am starting to see all of the thins I could/should implement. I'm still teaching, but part-time again, and now the work load is just as heavy, only different! Being sick definitely set me back. :(
The kid are still a challenge and a joy.
Die, Rat, Die!
This could be heard coming from my mouth after a period of glass-shattering (no, that's the middle school boys who break our windows, not me) screeching. Didn't know I was such a screamer. The rat is back. This time it moved Sarah's soap into the bedroom and enjoyed a feast of rat poison in my drawer and left his mark. As I searched through my clothes, it scurried out and over my foot on its way into our living room! By the time we collected ourselves and tried to hunt him down with a shower curtain rod and a bucket, he had disappeared. Don't come back. Ever. (The middle-school boys were amused, though I think as their football game was interrupted outside.)
We're playing Basketball
I'm sure I'll talk more about this later, but I'm off for our second game in the tournament now. Well, first a welcome dinner for all of the teams. We're hosting a sort of tournament, and our girls played the other KIS team this morning and squeaked out a victory after a rugby-style battle. Ready for more?!
Love coaching, but it's rough being white.


Because of His great love, we are not consumed. His compassions never fail; they are new every morning. Great is Thy Faithfulness!

Field Trip Week

My brain is not functioning at optimal capacity, so I will spare you my deep or convoluted thoughts.

The past week’s “glory be” moments:

Drawing a mural and painting with my boys, interacting with and hearing a group of orphans sing to Jesus, and being blessed by the women who work there and the good food at Help A Child Home in hot hot (“It’s boiling, Miss!”) Madurai last Monday and Tuesday.

Other highlight moments of the field trip—teeth brushing party, bucket shower, killing massive beetles (sorry to my Buddhist friends), reading Esther with the girls and giving the boys piggy backs, sleepover at Peniel school (we had to stop and check where we were on our way there the first night—oops!)

Traipsing through the city with the whole group (including Mr. Benjie and Miss Pearlin and I) and discussing culture and religion after seeing Meenakshi temple from the top of a museum. The kids’ excitement over sweets and my joy in finding gum and cranberry almond crunch. ; )

Refreshing and staying at the Lamberts’ with real food, real people, really intense coloring endeavors, morning runs around the lake in the sunshine and spending time with Jesus. The Little Engine That Could

Mini-hike to Bear Shola to pick up trash with the fabulous third, fourth, and fifth graders and their teachers. Working at school, staying out later on the weekend like other people do ; ) surprise return of my roommate. Coffee run with Janice. “Adventures in Kodai” with Sandhya –paddle boating in the pouring rain, fording streams, buying kodai snacks and having almond drink while we watched Tangled. Bison-stalking with Midori. Sleepover and failure “to light a fire” with Sarah and babysitting together on Sunday—dancing and playing etc.

Surprise visit for dinner by friends and making something that resembled food by boiling something that’s supposed to be a fried snack. Baha. Sticky goop + good sauce with a form of garlic bread and okra= an ok meal.

On the whole, came into the week somehow still exhausted, behind, and discouraged, so my body’s trying to tell me to slow down or peace out or something, but I’m still nananana-ing and pushing forward. Stupid? Stubborn? Maybe. Necessary? Perseverance? That too.

My students are hilarious and bright when they want to be. I am discouraged when they disengage and I feel like I fail them or don’t have things planned as well as I would like or don’t execute and tap their brains to challenge or grow them… Little moments of shared, knowing smiles and conversations with colleagues are helpful. Students are fickle like I am. Our moods sometimes mirror each other, so I’m learning how to offer respect and responsibility and invite them to the same. The grade 5-ers encourage me when they engage and work hard at readings that are within their reach and are excited to share real-life connections or get worked up over a game or making sure I approve of their answers. They love doing the victory chant, and what used to be a punishment or re-focus--practicing staying quiet is now a challenge they ask for. I wish I could give them all the attention and differentiation they need, but they also have to meet me somewhere! Able to use the world series to challenge my high math student : ]

Still working the basketball girls—they’re great; they are intimidated by me, apparently. Not sure what to think about that yet, but I can at least push them to keep getting better, sometimes literally pushing them. : ) Tournament is coming soon!

Midori leaves in just a couple weeks, so my Minnesota friend will be gone. : (

Seeking solitude, truth, peace in the love of God through Christ Jesus our Lord in the power of the Spirit this week. Praying for all of God’s people around the world and for many of you in my other homes!

Walk it out.

Where we slept

mm. yeah :)

:)

lovely lily or, another midori flower ; ) also a part of our spooky story we crafted while peddle boating

the choir ;)

 largest Hindu temple in S. India. This is the E. gate