Flour-dusted laptop
Little vignette of Sunday morning: I want to laugh or cry, so I tell B that either she or Em should have seen me because it would have been funnier--a moment very typical of me....
This morning I got up at the same time as Emily and whipped up another adaptation of gluten-free coconut banana bread (it's kind of a theme and variation experiment I try from time to time for the bungalow). When I got back from a run, B had taken it out of the oven for me.
I went to take a look and of course noticed what wasn't right about the scene--the burnt spices on the stove-top range next to the banana bread, so I set about fixing that minor problem.
In order to clean the stove, I had to scootch the pan of still-warm banana bread over.
I thought to myself--this is a little precarious and will probably fall, so maybe I should reconsider, readjust, pause for a second (reminiscent of the time I tried to bike and change gears with coffee in hand)....
but I brushed that thought away and set to scrubbing, unsuccessful in my attempts at freeing the range from the crusty spice spill, but successful in, yep, you guessed it, feeling my elbow bump the tea kettle which bumped the pan, knocking the banana bread to the floor, producing a *gasp* and *sigh* from me as the bread flew out from the middle and some snuck into Em's Toms for Sadie Mae to lick up promptly.
I quickly knelt to salvage what I could, abandoned the hopeless stove-top for the time being, and managed to smile, shake my head, and get a clump to go with my coffee.
These little moments of clumsiness are all-too-common for me in my hurried, have to get it done, think of something and then something else frantic antics. I tend to procrastinate (to justify my less-than perfect efforts to my perfectionistic-self), wait for the pressure of crunch time, then burst with focus to the finish. It's a weird, yet normal, game I play.
I used to get extremely upset over the minor mishaps like the banana (coco)nut bread explosion (also a tasty heart-attack at Egglectic). I am learning to laugh at myself and live in the messiness of life. This does not mean I'm anti-cleaning, but I do let the dishes go undone for a few hours at times or refrain from cleaning the bathroom or organizing my room every time I get stressed. Rather, I recognize more and more that things like community and wholeness that we so often throw out as desirable cliches are actually quite grueling and not so put-together as I might like.
Now, it seems minor, and it is, but moments like the banana bread--the clumsy dropping things, running into walls and being late and saying stupid things are reminders of my imperfection and the smallness of my life and the courage it takes to laugh and to keep walking and still present the banana bread to Blanche or my ideas to a class or myself to my friends.
The places God calls us to, whether it be tribal Africa, the mountains of Nepal, the slums of India, the ghettos of Chicago or the kitchen of our homes, are actually quite dangerous. We have to face fears, we are light from the True Light piercing darkness.
One take-away I'm seeing is that I need a greater awareness. Not only an awareness of my body that could have been helped by dance as a child, but also an awareness of what's really going on, of bigger battles, of what I'm called to in the moment and the future, of the bigger picture, etc. This takes slowing down sometimes to stop, look, and listen before crossing the street.
Simplify. Simplifying fractions in elementary school-loved it. Simplifying my life so that I can't be so dramatic or running helter-skelter, not so sure. Simplifying complex, inter-connected thoughts and realities of the world and my own life--seemingly impossible. So, I'm gonna give that a shot through the power at work within me, outside of myself. I'm not saying this experiment is going to change my life and prest-o-change-o, I'm the image of perfection. We already have one of those. I'm being renewed day by day.
As we sang in that kids musical -- It's gonna get rough. So you'd better wise-up
A few of my goals in this vein--not the striving kind, nor the revolutionary idea kind: Try being early a few times. Get 7-9 hours of sleep. Plan fewer people appointments each day. Eat specific foods and do specific exercises (which implies not doing other things). Answer people's questions. Accept and give compliments. One day a week= one thing at a time. Pray in the Word each morning not getting up to do things intermittently.
Little vignette of Sunday morning: I want to laugh or cry, so I tell B that either she or Em should have seen me because it would have been funnier--a moment very typical of me....
This morning I got up at the same time as Emily and whipped up another adaptation of gluten-free coconut banana bread (it's kind of a theme and variation experiment I try from time to time for the bungalow). When I got back from a run, B had taken it out of the oven for me.
I went to take a look and of course noticed what wasn't right about the scene--the burnt spices on the stove-top range next to the banana bread, so I set about fixing that minor problem.
In order to clean the stove, I had to scootch the pan of still-warm banana bread over.
I thought to myself--this is a little precarious and will probably fall, so maybe I should reconsider, readjust, pause for a second (reminiscent of the time I tried to bike and change gears with coffee in hand)....
but I brushed that thought away and set to scrubbing, unsuccessful in my attempts at freeing the range from the crusty spice spill, but successful in, yep, you guessed it, feeling my elbow bump the tea kettle which bumped the pan, knocking the banana bread to the floor, producing a *gasp* and *sigh* from me as the bread flew out from the middle and some snuck into Em's Toms for Sadie Mae to lick up promptly.
I quickly knelt to salvage what I could, abandoned the hopeless stove-top for the time being, and managed to smile, shake my head, and get a clump to go with my coffee.
These little moments of clumsiness are all-too-common for me in my hurried, have to get it done, think of something and then something else frantic antics. I tend to procrastinate (to justify my less-than perfect efforts to my perfectionistic-self), wait for the pressure of crunch time, then burst with focus to the finish. It's a weird, yet normal, game I play.
I used to get extremely upset over the minor mishaps like the banana (coco)nut bread explosion (also a tasty heart-attack at Egglectic). I am learning to laugh at myself and live in the messiness of life. This does not mean I'm anti-cleaning, but I do let the dishes go undone for a few hours at times or refrain from cleaning the bathroom or organizing my room every time I get stressed. Rather, I recognize more and more that things like community and wholeness that we so often throw out as desirable cliches are actually quite grueling and not so put-together as I might like.
Now, it seems minor, and it is, but moments like the banana bread--the clumsy dropping things, running into walls and being late and saying stupid things are reminders of my imperfection and the smallness of my life and the courage it takes to laugh and to keep walking and still present the banana bread to Blanche or my ideas to a class or myself to my friends.
The places God calls us to, whether it be tribal Africa, the mountains of Nepal, the slums of India, the ghettos of Chicago or the kitchen of our homes, are actually quite dangerous. We have to face fears, we are light from the True Light piercing darkness.
One take-away I'm seeing is that I need a greater awareness. Not only an awareness of my body that could have been helped by dance as a child, but also an awareness of what's really going on, of bigger battles, of what I'm called to in the moment and the future, of the bigger picture, etc. This takes slowing down sometimes to stop, look, and listen before crossing the street.
Simplify. Simplifying fractions in elementary school-loved it. Simplifying my life so that I can't be so dramatic or running helter-skelter, not so sure. Simplifying complex, inter-connected thoughts and realities of the world and my own life--seemingly impossible. So, I'm gonna give that a shot through the power at work within me, outside of myself. I'm not saying this experiment is going to change my life and prest-o-change-o, I'm the image of perfection. We already have one of those. I'm being renewed day by day.
As we sang in that kids musical -- It's gonna get rough. So you'd better wise-up
A few of my goals in this vein--not the striving kind, nor the revolutionary idea kind: Try being early a few times. Get 7-9 hours of sleep. Plan fewer people appointments each day. Eat specific foods and do specific exercises (which implies not doing other things). Answer people's questions. Accept and give compliments. One day a week= one thing at a time. Pray in the Word each morning not getting up to do things intermittently.
Good goals, Bonita:)
ReplyDeleteLife by the yard is hard, but life by the inch is a cinch.
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