Up and down

“O Christ, cause Your love to absolutely compel me. Help me to be convinced that because One died for all, therefore all died. Help me to realize and fully appreciate the fact that because You died for all, we who live should no longer live for ourselves but for You who died for us and was raised again. (2 Cor. 5:14-15) Please don’t let me miss the joy and fulfillment of living my life for You. Please don’t let my own stubbornness of heart stand in the way of fulfilling your plan for my life.”  Praying God’s Word

When I first learned to walk, I wanted to run,

When I began learning to play the piano, I wanted to be an immediate maestro

As you practice and age, the complexities of harmonies and dissonance and phrasing

Come together but also try your patience,

Especially when it’s a very new piece of which you’ve never played the ending

Or, a very familiar piece where you can’t quite seem to finish it with flourish

Still, each note should be a “polished pearl”

“I love you, Lord, and I lift my voice to worship you. Oh, my soul, rejoice. Take joy, my king, in what you hear—may it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear.”

Up and down and up and down…

Realizing from my run yesterday, the climb gets longer and steeper and more beautiful.

Seeing Sophia begin to walk and dance—up and down, up and down

Hiking long days through the hills and to the plains—up and down, up and down

Traveling off the hill and coming “home”—up and down, up and down

Going to school, coming back to Swedish House—up and down, up and down

Waking up and lying down to sleep—up and down, up and down

Welcomed and foreign—up and down, up and down

Success and defeat—up and down, up and down

Energized and exhausted—up and down, up and down

Thrilled and perplexed—up and down, up and down

So close, but so far away—up and down, up and down

Learning to climb—Up and down. Down and up.

Following the Master Shepherd to the highest heights, wherever he may lead along the way.

What has transpired?

Parent week, lots of hype, variety show, energy, short week,

Long weekend—visit to Pathaks in Pune! (Samoa ’06)

Being stared at like a zoo animal like never before

Football and cricket in the street, King Burger

Teaching “full time,” always feeling like there could be more

Decimal division—found out the students don’t know how to round decimals, so back it up!

Maps, maps, and more maps; Number the Stars

Misunderstandings and learning continually in teaching

Growing closer to my students

Turned 22

Dinner, dessert, friends, touches of home,

Dosas with Mrs. Gandhi and Mr. Palraj—love that couple with his subtle jokes and her effervescence

Speaking on Justice, Grace, and Forgiveness in the hope of the gospel and extended to friends in religious assembly

Coaching super seniors basketball-tourney’s coming fast!

Relaxing Saturday hand-washing my laundry, basking in the sunshine, going the unplanned route on m y run as I so often do at home, running into familiar faces, probably scaring the tourists with my reddened face from exercise…

Hanging out, coffee and banana bread, letter writing, Miss Tibet,

Ohohoh, control, gotta let you go… expectations continually having to adjust

Skype with fam and friends—blesses my heart

Amazing conversations with friends and colleagues and inspirations here, too! Challenging questions, seeing God move . . .

Narnia with Jeru and family

Church, racquetball—sorry, Ola!, yum-yum in honor of Sarah

Reminded of real repentance

“If I search around long enough, I’ll find insecurity beneath my grandiosity and arrogant expectations beneath my self-contempt” (So Long, Insecurity)

Learning, but still “much afraid”

“One step at a time, one step at a time, I’m climbin’ a mountain with Jesus by my side!”

some thoughts from streams plus, address :)

Streams in the Desert
He saw the disciples straining at the oars (Mark 6:48)
The straining isn’t always what he’s asking you to do. But… it seems like that’s all I know how to do!? He’s the only one that can accomplish the call. Oh man. That’s how it gets done well. Fully abiding in Christ. “Not to overwork, but to overflow” is quite irresistible. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” That’s the man that asked me to come into His rest. How counter-intuitive (as is the wisdom of heaven) to realize that the busiest soul is not the best servant, and when our heart is rippled, His reflection sometimes disappears. Rest can be service—when you can truly hear and see and be strengthened to do what he calls, even though you’re just a fragile pot, pouring out day by day. Once we are in the stillness, we sense his peace and know that there, he is everywhere, a rest for all who are weary, which is really all.
“In Resurrection stillness there is Resurrection power.”
Joshua 6:5 When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have all the people give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the people will go up, every man straight in. See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands (Josh. 6:2) Heb. 11:30 By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the people had marched around them for seven days.
Victor’s thankful song
Blessed are all who wait on him! (Is. 30:18)
Reminder that the victor’s crown is not, actually, always glorious in how we picture it as a gladiator. Sometimes, well, most of the time, we have to wait, walking along in what seems ordinary dullness and sometimes wishing for glorious fields and new treks, rescuing lost souls from peril or fighting someone else’s dramatic battle. Yet, the Lord, the Master, reminds us that He calls us. Other times, you are called to take up your armor and stand firm; guarding your gate, whether the wolves come every day or not. When it gets uncomfortable, less than glamorous, you are soaked and bedraggled like a wet dog, or singing along with the songbirds of the morning because it seems altogether too easy. All you’re called for is to bloom where you’re planted; “choosing not to choose” my heart is still.
And Patience was willing to wait. (Pilgrim’s Progress)
And the lessons keep going, day by day :]

pst. snail mail address:

Linnea Ness Kodaikanal International School
P.O. Box 25, Kodaikanal 624 101
Tamil Nadu, India

Past the 1 month mark! *warning, longish post*

Crazy weekend, last weekend, through the straining of making it through the middle of the week. God is glorious, amen?

I don’t know where to begin or end. After teaching nearly all of the elementary schoolers the song we sang like goofballs in elementary school: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight.” (with the hand motions, mind you), I need to preach it to myself! Sarah and I even asked that as we traipsed down the mountain at the end of a hard week, last week: that in God we would find our strength and our joy, and what an adventure it is! So much for me to overcome in learning every part of that verse. Oh the principles of proverbs.

Last week had many ups and downs with suddenly taking the class due to a family emergency for my cooperating teacher; other teachers and students also met challenges and had to leave school at short-notice, which is why I ended up singing and telling Bible stories and acting and leading games for religious education for a few days. I love talking about Jesus in school! Also, sharing sweet times of prayer is something I want to continue to cherish; it’s how we survive.
My class is talking about Freedom Fighters around the world. How fitting! The light shines through the darkness, which can’t even understand it!Teaching is quite the adventure in and of itself. Learning the ropes of working within an international school, being a semi-professional with awkward roles, working to submit and grow in confidence, along with just reaching out to the students in every way possible to grow them, too, make for a daily learning experience for me (life-long learners?). We’ve dealt with things in just my little classroom like silly-band distraction, silly songs with students, rambunctious kids, distraction and home-life issues, and every range of homework completion. One of my students decided her jingle would be “Freedom, glorious Freedom!” with eyes squeezed tight and voice singing proudly each time I mentioned freedom the first day. Monday and Tuesday, even as technology failed us, we had some thought-provoking discussion about the Dandi Salt March, the Boston Tea Party, and our own “pencil dilemma,” connecting to big ideas of oppression and freedom and legitimate solutions.

So, to fill you in on the craziness of the past weekend, it might be one of those, “you had to be there,” times, but your desire to “be there” might range from absolute repulsion to aching desire.

Sarah and I signed up to chaperone a “C” level (longer) hike down to the plains on Saturday. We left at 7am on the bus to our starting point, and from the get-go, Barbara Block (director of the hiking program and high-school coordinator) kind of forged a path through overgrown brush to connect us to the little trail which followed a fence through jungle-like woods. Beautiful.
We soon discovered that the lovely leaf-covered ground we were treading was leech-infested territory. More than you could ask or imagine. Like one of those horror films (ok, not really, but kind of), the leeches were not only near the streams, but all along the path because of the extreme dampness as of late—even more than usual for a place with monsoon season.
We’d come through tall grasses or out onto rocky areas and everyone would find a clearing to tend to their leeches, as in: scream for salt, beg one of us adults to pick off a leech, or proceed to smash it with a nearby rock. Really, it was at least 5 leeches per person, per stop. Sounds like I’m making a math problem for my students! Blood would pool in socks, through pants, on the rocks where we stopped—our large group became the walking wounded.
We carried on like this for about 5 hours due to the fact that our fearless guide got lost. As she would say, “We knew where we were, we just weren’t where we wanted to be.” You got that right, sister. As a friend of mine likes to say, “We aren’t lost, we’re just taking a different way.” Ok, well this new route included going up and down bison trails through intriguing forest and leech country and rock-hopping down the stream hoping to finally end up at the waterfall we all know and love (this hike was a different version of the rattail falls hike we did a couple of weekends ago). It donned on Sarah that she followed me to the point of swinging on a vine to get from one rock to another. I loved that part, but some did not enjoy it so much—thanks for those stream crossings on summer camping trips, Dad. Yes, we made it to the falls, coming through bursts of color from the lantana, and both Sarah and I enjoyed the most comfortable nap with our feet cooling in the water and our heads resting on the rock warmed from the sun—like Jacob, perhaps. Wrestling with God and resting in him.

The way down was not nearly so treacherous, even on the loose gravel portions. We made it down without so much trouble. Grungy and a little weary, we got ourselves on the bus for the ride to Bethania—an orphanage in Kanivavi to which some of our KIS colleagues are intimately connected. 9 of us stayed the night with this beautiful little community of “brothers and sisters.” Most were somewhat wary of me, until a couple of the little girls, who soon became my fast friends, got up the courage to tell me, “You’re so, uyaram, sister!” I’m long, or “height,” yes. We spent time talking, eating, and playing with the kids there. Real food, yum. My first idlies accompanied by delicious coconut curry for breakfast, and I ate right-handed the whole weekend! It was a sweet time of fellowship sharing back and forth in Tamil and English in their small chapel on Sunday. Gifts exchanged—silly bands for bangles, Bible, Tamil lessons. Hearts are quickly shared in small ways in places such as this. Frolicking up on the rocks and through the groves of guava trees precluded games and tours of the farm for the rest of the morning before lunch.

This week I am having more and more recurring moments of both déjà vieux and allowing myself to feel that strange belonging without belonging. Little things continue to make me smile. Sarah and I allowed ourselves to indulge in what we dubbed “yum-yum,” the mixture they’re always cooking which sends smells wafting by when we walk home past the lake. Teaching still has its ups and downs—my students, cooperating teacher, and I all let each other down and make mistakes every day, while at the same time growing to understand each other more and learn together. Even with friends and family, I am amazed by the constancy of God’s abounding grace as I reflected on Yahweh’s mishpat and tzadeqah.



This picture shows a bit of the personalities of our little friends Judah and Ezme Lambart.

We didn't know before we went that a couple of the girls Sarah and I spent a substantial amount

of time with at the orphanage are Judah's biological siblings!


:) Play Time Sorry, the tree got turned on it's side, you can still kind of see the plains

yes, and that's not even really gross.

Life gets crazy; try not to go with it. Musings.

*as could be expected, through many delays, this post arrives, although late.

Midori, Emily, and I on Independence Day Aug. 15

“All you need is love. All you need is love. All you need is love. Love is just a game. . . .”
“I hate this game!” “I love this game!” I have been known to say this about any number of things in life. “It’s just a game, so you might as well win it!” Life, however, is more than a game I can just figure out, master, grit out, etc. As a friend of mine likes to remind me, “Perfection is letting go of control.” As a perfectionist, I know not where to turn when I feel the spiral begin and self-condemnation arise. But this I call to mind, and therefore, I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed. His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is Thy Faithfulness. Another wise woman and wonderful prayer warrior turned my attention to Psalm 86 in crying out to my Savior.
This week, that is the cry of my heart, calling God to open my eyes and knowing He has to come through. He has. He will. The great I AM. With all the brokenness in the world and in my own life, we are still the light of the world because of the true light that gives light to every man… Let there be light!

Honestly, I’m in the down-swing of the culture-shock cycle. I may have been naive enough to think I wouldn’t really go through this part. The temptation is to go back to “stupid is as stupid does.” As in, I just don’t fit, or, “The more you complain about it, the better it gets.” Yet, “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may shine like stars . . .”

We jam-packed in a lot this past week. Ups and downs of seeing lovely people, playing volleyball, eating lots of dosa, chicken, or sweets from generous folk. Helping with CE Wednesday night all the way to deaths in families close to us. I started more serious teaching. There’s been drama with student-teaching, including finding out that Emily had to go back to teach in the states and saying goodbye in Madurai. (Still trying to figure that one out) More and more comes to flood or create desert.

Ghee Dosa with Lambarts on Saturday!

Sunday was a gem with worshiping at the Chapel, the glory of sunshine, sports, good friends, even good coffee, and deep-cleaning at least one room in our apartment.

Now, the week has begun, and the joy of the Lord truly is our strength. Sweet treat to touch base with a few of you from home. As I read to the kindergarteners today, sometimes one just feels a bit lonely and wants to go to where someone loves her best, like Max in Where the Wild Things Are. Still loving those walks up and down the mountain and the chance to play football like tonight with the middle school boys in between washing laundry loads in the shower or the kitchen. ; ) We hopefully get to hike all the way down to the plains again this weekend to visit Bethania!

Of course, the internet is not up, currently, so where do we go other than sleep, from here?
Clinging to the cross,
Linnea Michelle

Masala tea :) They're all pros at this. Some of the students have it down with hot chocolate or boost in the caf, too.

Our final "3 cups of tea" before the journey to Madurai

Theme of the week: running…blind?

“The LORD alone led him.” Deut. 32:12

Reflecting on lessons of hospitality, generosity, trust, joy, and the fruit of the Spirit from the lives of those who have gone before. The deep, real faith of Noah, who looked beyond the storm that hadn’t even come. The simple trust of George Mueller, whose eye was “not on the dense fog but on the living God, who controls every circumstance of my life.” And so it goes.
The rains truly do come daily, so it’s expected, although unexpected. Sunshine brightens and warms, too.

Downs and ups every day just like our descents and climbs from “home” [Swedish House way up the hill] to town or school. I have made that half-hour walk down with my eyes closed, trusting a friend to lead me; we also did the steep/uneven part today with my friend on my back. I have traipsed up and down singing, praying, skipping, trudging, rain, sun etc. How much of the path do we ever really see? What is it to trust, to run in the path of God’s commands, for he has set our hearts free? To run with perseverance the race marked out for us? To fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God…? Every tribe tongue and nation…?

Still praying eyes to see.

Last week this time I was finishing up getting muddied and having a blast playing ultimate Frisbee down on the field. The Lamberts’ kindly still welcomed me into their home—we just love spending time there with that lovely family!
This past week has been full! Yes, we’ve had lulls and torrents, but song, laughter, strain, work and play filled the moments between. Independence Day was Monday; we looked so Indian. ; ) That afternoon Emily, Sarah and I hiked to Dolphin’s Nose, where we were not ashamed to act as ridiculous tourists hiking from who-knows-where. If I can upload the video, I shall share a bit with you.

So, then, a 4-day school week at Ganga campus working with different students, planning for field trip week, doing research and substituting for eighth grade from time to time. Excited and nervous to begin taking class this coming week.
Sarah and I begged and snuck in a little thank-you by singing “For Good” for the staff recital on Friday. That song always brings to mind many wonderful people in my life to whom I may or may not ever be able to aptly thank.

Yesterday, a hike down to the plains via Rattail Falls with some of the high school students. It was absolutely beautiful, I promise. (And, it was fitting, seeing as how we’ve been battling an intruder—most probably a rat—this week in our apartment!) We rode part of the way through the coconut farms on top of the bus on the way back. Quite different from my Saturdays in high school. : ] We arrived back bedraggled and quite a mess, and people gave us quite curious looks when we stopped by the grocery store on our way home.

Also had a blast reminiscent of camp counseling in chaperoning middle school activity last night. It was volleyball-basketball-ridiculous-dancing-birthday-party-esque.

This morning we were able to go to church at the chapel and enjoy a relaxing afternoon. Midori and I took our weekly walk down the budge failing in attempts to find football cleats but successful in visiting our tailor friend, Gamesh, and taking in the usual market madness. Now we look forward to dinner with a family that we very much enjoy here.

May your cup overflow,
Linnea

The clouds bring the rain.

malai vanakkam! (phonetic, of course, because I don't type in tamil script ; ))

If I could play you a few of the various sounds I have heard today, they would include: truck idling, beep/honk/helllooo!/hi!, crickets' chorus, students voices calling to one another as they play, clattering in the dining hall…Soon the pitter patter to drumming of consistent rain falls as the fog and dampness sets in for the afternoon, and the women next to Midori and I in the teachers’ lounge commence the nasal, undulating singing of traditional songs in practice for Independence Day.

( I should really learn the national anthem—the celebration’s on Monday! We student teacher’s will surely look absolutely Indian in our sarees and flowers to adorn our hair. ; ) we didn’t even buy skirts with our sarees at first—oops! )

This week has been mostly observation and jumping in as far as school goes. Everyone knows the new student teacher came, and I finally will have my identification card today or tomorrow which I was supposed to have to get in to any of the compounds a week ago. I was welcomed well by students and staff alike, but I still do not completely belong as of yet—do any of us, really??
Pearlin Joseph is my cooperating teacher—what an adventure to work with a fellow educator from such a different background! She is eager to bless and to challenge. The pictures are of our classroom and our students working on an ooblex experiment.

Thursday I got to share with the 8th grade boys for dorm devotions and play football (soccer) with them afterwards. Such a different life as dorm kids—they need prayer and friendship.
Prayer please for the Christian community to stand strong in the Lord with boldness from the Holy Spirit.

(fellow student-teacher/friend, Sarah, refreshing at the vista on last week's hike)

Life lesson/encouragement as once again my body shut down in protest to my burn-out pace. [upon arriving I went for a hike the very next morning and never slowed down from there : }] We often times lament the clouds as we have basked in the sunshine and smiles, but perhaps we need to look beyond the clouds and, in fact, continue singing praise. What is it we always said as children? April showers bring May flowers. The clouds bring the rain, as Ecclesiastes reminds us, and we need that refreshment, nourishment, challenge. As many cultures celebrate with rain dances and are accustomed to monsoon season, there is something to consider in the very lifeblood of creation. May it take us further into worship of the Creator—to ponder his majesty, consider and reflect his glory in ever-increasing likeness. Perhaps we buckle-down, maybe we grit it out, hopefully sometimes we dance. Singin’ in the rain.

home sweet home--part of The lake :)

nandri, vanekum, Not in MN

Although frogs croak and crickets chorus outside the window, and there is even a beautiful lake nearby, it is not a summer night out on the lake in Minnesota. I have arrived at Kodaikanal in Tamil Nadu, India and am finally crawling into bed after a long journey, the sort which many travelers make day in and day out. I left my home in Minnesota on a sunny Wednesday morning hopping over to Chicago. When I boarded the Air India plane from O'Hare, however, I stepped beyond my comfort zone, yet not altogether uncomfortable. Greeted by Indian music and decor and the attendants running up and down the aisles with air freshener prior to take off... It was a privilege to meet up with Scott from Wheaton as well as new friends--the family of Sanjiv Edward in Delhi who graciously cared for me.
Much time traveling and a taxi ride with a kind driver through the hot and humid plains with sites and sounds of southern India; we then headed up into the hills to cooler climate where I have been welcomed by a few of the lovely people I will be around and hopefully get to know in the coming months.

Off to sleep in order to wake for a morning hike! Here we go.

Thank you, Lord for your faithfulness and provision. We need not worry, we need not fear. Continue to bless with strength and courage those praying for and alongside me this semester, especially. May you be glorified here in Kodaikanal, even this coming day.

Understanding more and more the worn traveler and being welcomed by strangers : ]